Oberservations @ 50 2016-07-21

To say I felt intimidated by the size of the vehicle would be an understatement. Its so large it practically has it own zip code. When you start it up. It drains the oil resources of many small nations. The Borg Collective would take one look at this monstrosity and say, “Don’t you think its a little too big?”

So yeah. I don’t like driving it. But I don’t have a whole lot of options. In the day to day operation of my day job. I take those I take care of out on the town from time to time. Involves shopping. Going out to eat. Films and so on. But the van the house has is as I have point out. Kind of on the big side.

But as I can’t use my car I have to use ‘The Beast’ as I have come to call it. Yesterdays I went on a mission. I remember walking towards the Beast. It size eclipse the sun the closer I got to it. There are time I think I can hear it chuckling at me as if to say, “You dare to drive me? Pathetic mortal! I devour creatures such as you as after dinner mints. Yet somehow you think you will be able to handle me? (Insert evil demonic laugh from the dawn of time here).

With the Beast. You don’t hop into it. You climb up into it. And by climb I mean full hiking gear with a month of provisions. Satellite phone in case you get lost in the hike from the ground to the driving well. Legendary Sherpas, high-altitude guides, lead you on your mission of getting into the Beast.

Once inside. It as if you have climbed into Voltron, Defender of the universe. We’re talking some high tech stuff here. You don’t just use a key to start it up. You have knobs and switch you have to throw. Control leavers to regular the power flow from the atomic generator under the hood. Then once all is in readiness… Off you go on your mission.

I often say a little prayer here that I don’t run over something. Not that I would notice in the Beast. We’re too high up. The clouds obscure the ground far bellow me.

The mission yesterday was short. Only one mile. To the store and back. It was quick. Upon returning I climbed back to the ground bellow. Giving thanks that I survived the ordeal. But I know the Beast is out there… Waiting till our paths are forced to cross again. Waiting till it is called upon again.

Observations @ 50 2016-07-17

So was having a bizarre dream last night. I’m at the films watching Fast and Furious 12. For some reason the whole film takes places on a cruise ship. Cars are racing around the decks.

Vin Diesel has grown a beard and let his hair grow in. Paul Walker is back from the dead somehow. Johnathan Harris (Dr. Smith from Lost in Space) is driving as well (Don’t ask. It’s dream logic). The action is growing to a fever pitch…

Then I feel something hot splashing in my face. A revolting smell fills my nostrils. I wake to find Rita cat has decided I’m her personal litter box and is pissing all over me…

Yes. A new low point in my life has been achived. My eyes are burning. I’m about to puke from the rancid stench. I fall out of bed. Urine is dripping from my beard.

Rita for her part saunters off into the night like it’s nothing major (Hey I piss on everything. It’s not personal). My bed sheets are saturated in cat urine. Its 2AM. I need to strip the bed and get clean…. Ahhh the joys of taking care of an elderly cat.

Not to mention I’ll probably never know how Fast And Furious 12 ends.

Observations @ 50 2016-07-13

So I got to witness one of life’s little tragedies today. Julie is out of town so I stopped by New Season to have some breakfast. As I am eating some scrambled eggs I over heard at the next table something that just makes me cringe.

There is a young fellow in his 20s with a woman of similar age. He is holding her hand. I can see he is nervous as hell. He says something to the line, “I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while. I’m in love with you.” He looks up into her face and then she smiles.

Not the smile that says, “That is the greatest news I have ever heard. We are going to be together forever and have a wonderful life.” No… She gave him the smile that says, “Ahhh. Yeah… Ah.. Listen. Thats nice. Really. But…”

A moment later she lowers the boom. The fire in his eyes goes out. This is followed by something I consider far worse. She says, “You know Greg . That guy you work with in accounting? Well I’ve been sleeping with him. And I think I’m in love with him.”

Oh yeah, that great, I think. Why don’t you just shoot him while your at it. The only thing that’s worse than not getting the girl. Is knowing one of your coworkers is banging her. And she’s into him. Plus you have to work with him every fucking day. Every-time he smiles. You know he is thinking of her. Every-time his phone ring. Its probably her calling. Every weekend they’re together… Probably having the best sex anyone in all creation has ever had, and you… You’re home. Alone. Locked in an endless state of misery.

Welcome to your living hell. Population you. Rent is due at the first of the month.

So she gets up from the table with a, “We’ll talk later.” And walks off. This more or less mean, “I never want to see you again as long as I live. Because its going to be awkward now and… well, I don’t do awkward. I did say you were one of my best friends once. But that really means nothing in the long run. Its been fun. But I really don’t need you anymore. So have a nice life. Good bye.” And off she goes into he mist of time. He continues to sit there like the whole world has just ended.

I try to think of something to say here.

“Hey, what about the Pokemon Go thing. Neat huh?” Then I think, what if doesn’t have a smart phone? I’ll look like a moron.

In the end I say nothing. Finish my meal and put my dish in the cleaning tray. I know where he is now. I have been there a number of times myself. Its not a nice place. It scary. Its lonely. It hurts all the time. You’re heart has been shattered into a million tiny pieces. It’s gonna be long… long time before it’s whole once more. Before you can smile and mean it.

We’ve all been there one time or another. And we all come out of it. But we come out different. The person who went in, won’t be the one who comes out.

But for that moment. That brief painful moment. The world is never the same again.

Observations @ 50 2016-07-12

So in the shower, last night, washing my hair. Lost in my thoughts… When I feel something run over my feet. Seems Mr. Mouse had take refuge in my shower. I’d like to say I was tactful. Graceful even. After all this is a tiny critter and I’m 300 plus pound-man.

I was anything but. I was taken off guard. I screamed like a woman out of some lame ’50 sitcom. I lost my balance. I took out not only the shower curtain in my fall. But the towel rack. Twisted my right leg something fierce. Got a lot of bruising today. My leg is very stiff and sore right now

Meanwhile. Mr. Mouse saunters out of the bathroom. I lay in a growing puddle of water in front of the toilet. Mouse glances back for a moment, totally thug style with a, “I can get you anytime I want to. Remember that.” look. Then fist bumps one of the cats on the way downstairs.